12th
If I knew that, I wouldn’t be here
I have heard those words on many occasions. For example, a company executive comes to present at Business School, and when asked a question on the future of their industry, they say “If I knew that, I wouldn’t be standing here today.”
To me, this is remarkable for many reasons:
1. Usually, the business world is a place of repressed emotion. But here, in a very formal situation, an executive gives us a very open glipse of his inner world by saying “I actually don’t like my job. If I knew the answer to that question, I’d be doing something else.”
2. The blunt candour with which the executive, who previously droned on about how exciting the company is as a workplace (you know, those fascinating colleagues, the dynamic environment), suddenly implicitly says “actually, it sucks. If you know the answer to that question, don’t come working at my company.”
3. The fine sprinkling of impoliteness with which he/she peppers their audience: Because basically what he says is: “…I wouldn’t be here with YOU guys. I don’t like you and if I knew the answer to the question, I wouldn’t be talking to YOU, YOU and YOU over here, either.”
It happens over and over. During the last 5 years of professional life, I’m sure I heard that phrase at least 20 times, in meetings, lectures, conversations.
I marvel at such cognitive dissonance. To all the frustrated professionals out there: If you don’t like your job, change it. If you don’t want to change it, stop complaining. And if you are representing your company, don’t embarrass yourselves by publicly deriding it.
